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A Guide’s Answer
In 1861, the Civil War started in the United States between the Northern and the Southern states. The war continued with great bitterness until 1865, when the Northerners were victorious. However, even today, many Southerners have not forgotten their defeat, or forgiven the Northerners.
A few years ago, a party of American tourists were going round one of the battlefields of the Civil War with a guide who came from one of the Southern states. At each place, the guide told the tourists stirring stories about how a few Southern soldiers had conquered powerful forces of Northerners there.
At last, one of the tourists, a lady who came from the North, stopped the guide and said to him, “ But surely that the Northern army must have won at least one victory in the Civil War?”
“Not as long as I’m the guide here, madam,” answered the Southern guide.
That Isn’t Our Fault
Mr. and Mrs. Williams got married when he was twenty-three, and she was twenty. Twenty-five years later, they had a big party, and a photographer came and took some photographs of them.
Then the photographer gave Mrs. Williams a card and said, “They’ll be ready next Wednesday. You can get them from studio.”
“No,” Mrs. Williams said, “please send them to us.”
The photographs arrived a week later, but Mrs. Williams was not happy when she saw them. She got into her car and drove to the photographer’s studio. She went inside and said angrily, “You took some photographs of me and my husband last week, but I’m not going to pay for them.”
“Oh, why not?” the photographer asked.
“Because my husband looks like a monkey,” Mrs. Williams said.
“Well,” the photographer answered, “that isn’t our fault. Why didn’t you think of that before you married him?”